Official Al Qaeda CDN Gov't Takeover Manual

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​Official Al Qaeda CDN Gov't Takeover Manual

Reprint: In response to the utter dubiousness of the re-emergent Toronto 18 cocaine-addicted, highly-paid mole, Mubin Shaikh.

THE FOLLOWING IS SATIRE: Reprinted from the original YayaCanada website (which is now for sale at a price that, so far, no one wants to pay, including moi -- in addition to a fee of $39 + commission just to inquire about it!).

Government Announces Discovery of "Official Al-Qaeda Canadian Parliament Takeover Manual"

GANPEST News* June 7, 2006

At a surprise press conference held on Parliament Hill this evening, representatives of CSIS, the RCMP, OPP, Boy Scouts, Girl Guides. NATO, the CIA, FBI, MI5, Mossad, SAVAK along with Det. Sgt. Joe Friday, Agent Phelps, Ironside, Columbo, Mannix, Shaft, Inspector Clouseau and Kojak announced that they have discovered the official Al-Qaeda "How to Take Over The Canadian Parliament Buildings and CBC Headquarters" manual written and signed by Osama Bin Laden, aka "the big scary monster".

GANPEST News* has obtained an exclusive copy of the manual which we produce below in our never ending quest to scare the crap out of you so that "Batman" Harper can clamp down on civil and human rights in Canada and impose his neo-liberal agenda on an unsuspecting public:

From the Desk of Osama Bin Laden
47th Floor
Osama Bin Laden Headquarters
In A Cave

To my 17-Member Toronto Terrorist Cell:

The following is Part 1 of the official Al-Qaeda "How to Take Over The Canadian Parliament Buildings and CBC Headquarters" manual.  We will send you part 2 upon receipt of your payment of $39.99.  Howver if you postmark your cheque before midnight tonite, part 2 will be yours for the very low price of $29.99 (our lowest yet).  Please also indicate whether you have an airmiles card.

We have found that the best way to prepare for taking over large well guarded buildings in well protected urban environments is to spend a day playing paintball in some farmer's field.  Since you are dark skinned, an integral part of your training will be to get noticed by the farmers, who will make sure the authorities are hot on your trail.

You will need the following materials to execute your daring takeover of the Canadian Parliament Buildings and the CBC Headquarters building:

five pairs of boots in camouflage drab,
six flashlights,
one set of walkie-talkies,
one voltmeter,
one knife,
eight D-cell batteries,
a cellphone,
a circuit board,
a computer hard drive,
one barbecue grill,
one set of tongs suitable for turning hot dogs,
a wooden door with 21 marks on it and a 9-mm handgun,
a partridge in a pear tree

Part of the beauty of our minimalist approach to building takeover is its low cost.  By keeping costs down, we hope to have you as repeat customers.  And yes, we do offer volume discounts.

You are probably wondering how the hell you are going to take over two well guarded government buildings in the middle of an urban environment with the junk I listed above.

That we will cover in Part 2 which we will be happy to ship to you by "Osama Overnight Couriers" upon receipt of your cheque.  For faster service, we do accept INTERAC and VISA.  As you might expect, we don't accept American Express.

By the way, tell all the folks in Canada that Professor Steven E. Jones, Department of Physics and Astronomy, Brigham Young University, and his colleagues at Scholars for 9/11 Truth are right when they say that the THREE buildings of the World Trade Center were brought down by controlled demolition on 9/11.  And yes, it was an inside job of the US Government.

If you don't believe "the big scary monster" who in fact is already "dead", go see for yourself at http://www.st911.org/**

Over and out from the dead guy in the cave.
......................................................................

Original Source: Ron Saba, Editor of Montreal Planet Magazine formerly located at:
http://www.mtlplanet.ca/

* Definition of "Ganpest" found at this site on a page titled "unwords/undrugs".

** The popularity of the original site Scholars for Truth about 9/11 was taken advantage of by a commercial business when the scholars apparently deemed it prudent to move offshore (Bulgaria) and can now be found here.

You may also be interested in Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth

Image from: Obama bin laden dead jokes